The Evil Invention of Facebook Doom

I will pretend to be you and tell people we hate each other. What a fun game. It smells like turd. It sucks! I hate turd! I hate you. You beet dater. I am trying to be nice. Its stretching my heart. You lie well. I blackmail well. I feel like Michael. Stop talking...No one likes you. Stein air. Dummy is a nice word. Your mom bought your present from me to you. Ha. Read it on your own time. I cleaned dog poo...there was lots. I like Belle she is the shiz nit. Still smelling the poo. I won at uno. Eat that boy with the desire to have a set of dds. You shoulda been there. I went shopping. the end

A bottle of nothingness

Finally, a long awaited slice of birthday cake, not pie. Fire alarms give me a headache regardless of the time of day. Christmas music becomes more annoying each year losing the fondness and sweet memories that it once help. I suppose that is because Thanksgiving is merely a day to take off work as opposed to actually being thankful. Maybe the lack of gratitude is affecting the economy and its downfall. I suppose I am grasping at straws. I <3 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Pandora. Its my hero. As well as Ben Kweller. All these years of ignorance. I heard a song about pickles. Whats the difference between manager and director? How about between yams and sweet potatoes? Although thats kind of you to think of me and ask I really have no clue whatsoever. I heart nine year olds so much more than five year olds. Which is sad. I also heart my little sis! She is my favorite. I don't heart your dramatics. You need to get over yourself. Or better yet, find yourself, and stop doing what other people want you to do. I am glad I can think for myself...The evidence proves otherwise for you however....I will miss some people. Others not so much. Why are you bothering me? You did it to yourself. I have moved on and really just want to be left alone. This is lacking the funny....That's tragic. I haven't had any moose to drink lately. I supposed that my sexual predator of a coworker might be able to solve that problem. Happiness is a gun? But the government is confiscating them....To bad. Scooby can say my name! But so can the rest of the gang. To bad they don't have a real mystery machine. You will make a hippie van and I will make a pimp mobile. Then we will ca chigga...lol. I get it. I need some brackets...What to do. What to do. She stole my kitty. What a moron. Sissy is sick...Thank goodness I get a break. I need one. Time to part.

Enlightenment and such

It appears to me that I have been oblivious to the obvious. When you grow up you should settle down. None of this single crap for eighteen year olds. Looks like I missed that memo. Oh well. I am not very upset about this. In most states I would be the normal one, and you would be the freaks. So bleh. Wow. This sounds depressing, when in reality its not. I hate AIG they are dummies, ruining corporate America. Stupid bailout plans. I need a new government. The elitist type. Then I could be happy. I got a new job offer. I wonder how well that will work out. I suppose in the way it is supposed too. Bleh. I just want it to be next year so I can move on with life. No more of this waiting crap. Who does that anyways? I dont like it, or approve of it either. Also thank you dear Fido for that lovely song you enlightened me with at six am this morning and now twelve hours later it is still in my head! I hAtE yOU fOr dOIng thIs tO mE mOrE thAn wOrds cAn ExplAIn. Also to you stupid 13 year olds, get a life. And make sure it doesn't include me. This is why i like fourth graders. Oh and my piano students rock! the end

Sexual Predators and the Myspace dilemma

Stop calling me Carbon County!!! Dar....Yeah doorsteps and conference. I found another bomb shelter. And then the football team stunk. But hockey was fun. I play monopoly. Played rather. Frontier Face is not the great, its just the way Winner is. I don't like my fan club. If you are going to follow me around all day for entertainment I suggest you pay me or at least help me figure out what to do with my glitter whites. Crayola, you let me down this time. Its cold I want to go home. Why did you lie about birthday pie? Last time I checked it was my birthday and I didn't want pie. You don't need lame friends like that, just like I don't need the governor calling me about his promise to help finish Highway 6. Oreo cookies are better than applesauce cookies. And that guy stole a kitty. Also someone out there should change his myspace picture. It scares me. and thats why we arent pals.

Worst Pickup Line Ever...

No in five years I will probably have a full time job that doesn't involve thirteen year old boys stalking me. And in five years when you are almost nineteen i will be almost twenty five. Its not happening kid. Never. Now please just leave me alone so I can live my life happily and in peace. Now that that's over, I am suspicious of your motivations...Hmm...Katie I haven't talked to you in months but I think I just made the biggest mistake of my life so lets be friends. I burnt my finger. I am cleaning out my kitty's eye infection. I am going to the circus with a salad. Basically. Not really. Pink cotton candy is better Seth. And no, I will not bring you a birthday cake. Sorry but I am mean. And I need a q'ing job so I can go to Italy. That's code for I am in debt and can't go on my mission until I am out of it. Maybe I should've accepted Rob's proposal and taken his credit card...Why do I think of these things after the fact. Oh well. I can always try my support the poor method. Thirteen and fifteen. Actually its sixteen. Thats weird. Very very very weird. Happy, but weird. I dunno if I am ready for this. Well some things I am ready for but can I really face evil in the form of a human being. That was mean, fetch. Practice makes perfect I suppose. Why are you being nice to me? My entire life you are a meanie head and you choose now to be kind. She really did change you. That's good and yet another reason for me to be nice to her. I think I like her more then you. Winter camp with my sister could be a super funny experience. I suppose if there are some other people I will for sure be all over that one...In the woods...Not really. Well maybe. Wait, Chester might be there. Bad news...Never mind...The End.

Pink or Blue...

BYU contains scout masters from Springville that mock me and pretzels that are way to salty. That's a weird way to start. But its true. And P.S troop 639 thanks for making me the center of attention....The grass was cushy. I was proud of us. It was hot. It is to hot for survival in the valley. I miss the mountains. Except there is snow there....again....Six weeks without...I am going to the circus. I hope that I can be protected from the bears. That's why I am bringing mace. And a shotgun. You learn how to kill bears at camp school. I won that battle. And I will win the next one too. There is a stupid head coming. I hate stupid heads. But in reality I think I like having something to hate. Maybe...That probably only makes sense to me. Oh well. Most things do. This weekend will be the weekend of doom. That is all I am going to say about that. I am going to the circus...YAH!!!

The Greastest Voyage in the History of Plastic!!!

So...It was good. It was worth it. Because of a pickles and salami sandwich with a side of beets, radishes, and a stupid head. I got engaged. He gave me the credit card. I ran away. Techno is not my style, neither is cinnamon sugar. Not to mention the Wilderness Cabin. I suppose its a good thing I never slept in there. I rolled into a hole and got stuck. So he licked the tire, she kissed the potty, and I hugged/kissed the bear. It was precious. My name is not Pick. My breathing is to relaxed for such a monstrosity. Not to mention the fact that my drool has tapered off quite a bit in the last decade. My sweetest downfall is doctor pepper, which is for sure why my boss gave me some...Enchanted makes me cry. So do people who throw away my targets and destroy all proof of a bulls eye. Those same people also mess with the sites to make me feel bad about my aim. I hope he sits on a rock and remains forgotten about. Seff is a fast driver. Fido is too. I am confused. I cant count. I got twenty dollars. I write the best hate letters known to the history of man. Exhibit A. You smell and look like the inside of a kybo that hasn't been pumped since 2002. Exhibit B. There comes a time in every relationship when the man screws up. That time is now. Exhibit C. You are bread and butter pickles. The whore of all pickles!...And that makes me the winner. Yah Bomb Shelter!!!! Yah Cows!!!! Yah Horses!!! Yah Slide!!! When I am in the car I close my eyes so I don't have to look at the spedometer. The cow in Evanston was doing it for the first time. Precious. Chinese makes my life. So do people who ask do you know anything about screws? I Heart My Life. The End