I have been thinking a lot about my family history. Mostly, I am working on a project for my personal progress where I gather stories about ancestors. As I have been doing this, I have started to realize how little I know about my Bullough side of the family. I don't ever remember my Papa telling stories about his parents, and my Dad barely remembers them as they died when he was fairly young (I think). On the Clawson side of my family, I have access to lots of information, I have read parts of my great grandma's journal, read her and my great grandpa's personal history, and my family always has memories to share about them. My parents tell me that Grandma Clawson and I would be great friends as we have a lot in common. Sometimes I feel like she is around, giving me inspiration, especially when it comes to creativity. Anne of Green Gables would say we are like kindred spirits :) and I often hear that Grandpa Clawson would be so proud of my political activism and even my stances. I have such a desire to know these people as individuals, not just names on my pedigree chart. I am hoping that this project helps me to do that. And i'm really hoping to be inspired and that I can see how these people have influenced my family.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Camp...Again
I'm feeling frustrated. Managing 90+ people is not an easy task. Especially when the majority of employees are teenagers. Different management styles work for different people. Different people respond to different things. That's a fact. And it seems to be nearly impossible to find a way to help everyone succeed. It's not like we hire people with the intention of making them fail. I find it frustrating that people don't recognize that this is their job, not a place to get paid to sleep or slack off.
I don't think that it is asking a lot that staff members are on time, help clean up, and that they shower. I don't think that making you do an extra chore is an unreasonable punishment for being late every day. Most places would fire you if you don't come to work on time. Maybe I am reaching here, but you know...
When our camp staff had 45 staff at most, it was a lot easier to have patience, and to allow room for error. But when I have 20 people not doing things correctly as opposed to 2, its a lot harder to help fix problems, and furthermore, have the patience to constantly correct. I found it ironic, that after 15 minutes of helping with my job last week, one of our junior staff said, "Wow, now I understand why you are so strict on this. This is a lot of work." I wish more of our staff understood how things pile up, especially when it isn't done correctly.
I am a firm believer in leading by example. If I ask any of our staff members to do something, I have to be willing to do the exact same thing. Sure, my work schedule might compromise with KP duties or Trash Sweeps, but it isn't like I would be hiding in my cabin if given the chance. I would be helping. Maybe I am off base, maybe I just need to relax and not do anything. Either way, I can't make everyone happy.
I don't think that it is asking a lot that staff members are on time, help clean up, and that they shower. I don't think that making you do an extra chore is an unreasonable punishment for being late every day. Most places would fire you if you don't come to work on time. Maybe I am reaching here, but you know...
When our camp staff had 45 staff at most, it was a lot easier to have patience, and to allow room for error. But when I have 20 people not doing things correctly as opposed to 2, its a lot harder to help fix problems, and furthermore, have the patience to constantly correct. I found it ironic, that after 15 minutes of helping with my job last week, one of our junior staff said, "Wow, now I understand why you are so strict on this. This is a lot of work." I wish more of our staff understood how things pile up, especially when it isn't done correctly.
I am a firm believer in leading by example. If I ask any of our staff members to do something, I have to be willing to do the exact same thing. Sure, my work schedule might compromise with KP duties or Trash Sweeps, but it isn't like I would be hiding in my cabin if given the chance. I would be helping. Maybe I am off base, maybe I just need to relax and not do anything. Either way, I can't make everyone happy.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
A First: Achieving a Goal!
For almost as long as I can remember, I have struggled with my weight. I was the early developer compared to all of my friends. I was taller. I was bigger. And it didn't really bother me until junior high. And even then, it wasn't that big of a deal. But the older I get the more important maintaining a healthy weight appears to be. I know that people have a negative perception of me because of my weight. But there is so much more to me!
Over the past two years, I have tried various diets, exercise routines, etc. And nothing worked. At one point I found a diet that helped me lose five pounds over five months. And I was frustrated. Here I am busting my butt for what? A pound a month?
As mentioned in my previous post, I started seeing a doctor in mid October of 2012. And he believed in me. But more importantly he gave me a plan and he holds me accountable. We set a goal that by April 2013 I would lose 30 pounds. That is only the beginning for me. But I am starting to understand the point of smaller attainable goals that lead to the bigger goal. The first two months went great. I lost 13 pounds. And then the holidays came. And I sort of just stood still. It didn't help that I had a cold or an ear infection or something for practically a month straight, which made it very difficult to exercise regularly.
Today, I stepped on the scale. I thought it was lying to me. So after three or four times of weighing myself, I realized I had met a goal. Two months early. Sure I have had strep throat for the last few days and have only eaten two popsicles and half a bowl of cereal, oh and some hot chocolate since Wednesday (and now it is Saturday) But that doesn't change the fact that I met a weight loss goal for the first time in my entire life. I know I still have a long way to go, but I can help but be excited/proud.
Thanks to my husband, family, doctor, and strep throat I can proudly say that I am one small goal down, and a few more to go!
Over the past two years, I have tried various diets, exercise routines, etc. And nothing worked. At one point I found a diet that helped me lose five pounds over five months. And I was frustrated. Here I am busting my butt for what? A pound a month?
As mentioned in my previous post, I started seeing a doctor in mid October of 2012. And he believed in me. But more importantly he gave me a plan and he holds me accountable. We set a goal that by April 2013 I would lose 30 pounds. That is only the beginning for me. But I am starting to understand the point of smaller attainable goals that lead to the bigger goal. The first two months went great. I lost 13 pounds. And then the holidays came. And I sort of just stood still. It didn't help that I had a cold or an ear infection or something for practically a month straight, which made it very difficult to exercise regularly.
Today, I stepped on the scale. I thought it was lying to me. So after three or four times of weighing myself, I realized I had met a goal. Two months early. Sure I have had strep throat for the last few days and have only eaten two popsicles and half a bowl of cereal, oh and some hot chocolate since Wednesday (and now it is Saturday) But that doesn't change the fact that I met a weight loss goal for the first time in my entire life. I know I still have a long way to go, but I can help but be excited/proud.
Thanks to my husband, family, doctor, and strep throat I can proudly say that I am one small goal down, and a few more to go!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Our Struggle With Infertility
In the back of my mind, I always new something was wrong, but I never wanted to admit it. There were no obvious signs that having kids would ever be a problem, but there was always this feeling that I don't know how to explain.
I grew up in a culture that was very family oriented. When I grew up, it was my job to get married and start a family. So I got married. We knew we wanted to wait to have kids. So Jake finished school. He got a job. We bought a house. I kept going to school. And we thought we were ready. So we waited. And waited. And after waiting for over a year nothing happened. I never wanted to admit that something was wrong with me. And then one day, someone said something to Jake. And I broke.
For a long time, I was full of hate. Every time that I saw a new baby or heard another of my friends was expecting I had the most awful feelings toward them. How could they have baby? They didn't deserve it. They couldn't afford it. They didn't have this or that. I was jealous. I was bitter. I was angry. But most of all I was hurt. How could God deny me of the one thing that I wanted most? It isn't like I was wanted something evil. It was our righteous desire to start a family, to follow one of God's commandments. And yet, for whatever reason, it didn't happen.
I finally went to the doctor. We started to work on what it wrong. He pointed out that infertility is actually really common. I started talking to people about it. I realized I wasn't alone. So many people that I know have struggled with the same issue. And some have kids. Some don't.
I started to wonder what life would be like without kids. Something I had never thought of before. And that is when it hit me. I had been wishing time away. Wishing that it was in the future, that my problems were solved. I spent more time looking at the things that I didn't have, that I was missing out on a wonderful life in front of me. I had so many blessings right in front of me, but I was to busy looking at the blessings that were missing to even notice how great my life really was. And my mindset changed.
Sure, it is still hard to think about the possibility of never having children. But, my perspective has changed. While I may not ever have the chance to be a mom, I have so many other great things going, that I cant just focus on things I don't have. I am still learning. Sometimes I still get jealous when I see friends starting their families. But I am starting to understand that it is important to be grateful for the things that I do have. I don't think that I am a failure. Every one has trials and struggles. I know am not alone. I am so thankful for the support of my husband, my family, my faith. I don't know if we will ever be able to have kids, but I am very slowly learning that it is okay.
We do our best. We can hope for the best. And we take the time to be grateful for the things that we do have. And I sure do have a lot :)
I grew up in a culture that was very family oriented. When I grew up, it was my job to get married and start a family. So I got married. We knew we wanted to wait to have kids. So Jake finished school. He got a job. We bought a house. I kept going to school. And we thought we were ready. So we waited. And waited. And after waiting for over a year nothing happened. I never wanted to admit that something was wrong with me. And then one day, someone said something to Jake. And I broke.
For a long time, I was full of hate. Every time that I saw a new baby or heard another of my friends was expecting I had the most awful feelings toward them. How could they have baby? They didn't deserve it. They couldn't afford it. They didn't have this or that. I was jealous. I was bitter. I was angry. But most of all I was hurt. How could God deny me of the one thing that I wanted most? It isn't like I was wanted something evil. It was our righteous desire to start a family, to follow one of God's commandments. And yet, for whatever reason, it didn't happen.
I finally went to the doctor. We started to work on what it wrong. He pointed out that infertility is actually really common. I started talking to people about it. I realized I wasn't alone. So many people that I know have struggled with the same issue. And some have kids. Some don't.
I started to wonder what life would be like without kids. Something I had never thought of before. And that is when it hit me. I had been wishing time away. Wishing that it was in the future, that my problems were solved. I spent more time looking at the things that I didn't have, that I was missing out on a wonderful life in front of me. I had so many blessings right in front of me, but I was to busy looking at the blessings that were missing to even notice how great my life really was. And my mindset changed.
Sure, it is still hard to think about the possibility of never having children. But, my perspective has changed. While I may not ever have the chance to be a mom, I have so many other great things going, that I cant just focus on things I don't have. I am still learning. Sometimes I still get jealous when I see friends starting their families. But I am starting to understand that it is important to be grateful for the things that I do have. I don't think that I am a failure. Every one has trials and struggles. I know am not alone. I am so thankful for the support of my husband, my family, my faith. I don't know if we will ever be able to have kids, but I am very slowly learning that it is okay.
We do our best. We can hope for the best. And we take the time to be grateful for the things that we do have. And I sure do have a lot :)
Monday, November 26, 2012
Christmas is Coming!
This is only a little tiny sample of what I have done to our house. There is garland everywhere! Tons of lights and ribbon and decorations. I am a little bit crazy about how much I love decorating for Christmas!
My parents have always had this really neat tradition of buying one ornament a year since the year they got married. Jake and I decided that this is a tradition that we too should do! This year was Jake's pick-our very own Pongo just for our tree!
We are just about finished with our Christmas shopping! we only have three people left to buy for! And man did we get some Black Friday steals!! I am a big believer in Black Friday. Why pay ridiculous prices when I can save 50-75% on the same products? All I have to do is deal with a few crowds and I am getting a deal!
I have been lusting after this beautiful stoneware for at least five years, but I could never justify paying 100 bucks for it. Kohl's had it on Friday for 29.99 plus I had a 10 dollar off coupon and a 15% off my entire purchase. So I paid around 12 bucks for a hundred dollar set of stoneware. Yeah! So worth it. And that is only the beginning of how much I saved. I got two new down pillows for 40 bucks off, 10 dollar towels for three bucks, and the savings go on. Most of the things I bought on Black Friday were things I needed, and because of the discounts, I was able to get a better quality/quantity than I would otherwise. If I learned anything from my parents, it is that you never pay full price for anything! Wait a few weeks and it will be on sale or you will get a coupon!
I really don't think Black Friday is crazy or ridiculous like so many people do. I have been going with my mom for the past 10 years, and am yet to see a fight or someone get hurt. Sure I have to wait in line at Kohl's for over an hour, but it really isn't that bad compared to how much I am saving. My mom and I laugh because of the adrenaline rush we get when we run into a store, grab what we want and are among the first people to check out. Every year we spend a ridiculous amount of time planning out what we are going to get and the fastest way to find it. And I am pretty sure we are among the very few people who coupon on Black Friday. But it has become a tradition that we both look forward too! I love that my mom is as frugal as I am and that we can have this tradition together. And now that I am married, I have this husband of mine who is wonderful! He drives us around and waits in the really long line at Kohl's while my momma and I do the shopping!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Political Rant: A Clarification
After my previous blog post, I have faced a lot of heat in regards to my political affiliation. I have been accused of horrible things. I have been called horrible things. And I am left wondering how any person can think it is appropriate to publicly attack another individual because of their views, regardless of what they are. It is ironic that people may know me for years, but the moment they discover one tiny fact of who I am, their opinion of me can change in a matter of seconds.
Is it Christlike to call a child of God awful things merely because of the way they voted? How is it appropriate to belittle, demean, berate, and attack an individual because they voted for Mitt Romney or Barack Obama? How can you accuse another individual of being uneducated on their vote when you have no idea how much research they have put into their votes?
I believe in respect. I believe that no individual is better than the next. Circumstances may vary, but Christ sees us all as equal human beings. We all come from the same place. We each face different trials that others don't even see or cannot understand. I believe that we need to be informed on every issue on the ballot. I believe that difference of opinion is what makes democracy function. I believe that a one party system (regardless of which party) is a failure to each American. The point of democracy is to hear both sides of the issue and to make compromises.
I will never disrespect another individual because they have voted differently than I. I may express my difference of opinion, but I will never accuse another individual of being uneducated, foolish, or flat out stupid. Our views may vary, but I trust that you, like me, have studied out candidates and issues and that you feel comfortable with the choices that you have made. I will never attack you or bully you for being different. I will never feel a need to 'educate' you on the truth.
I am more than happy to share my views with others. I am more than happy to hear the views of others. But I refuse to stand here quietly while being attacked because of the conclusions I have made and the vote I have cast. The things I have seen on Facebook in the past few weeks, from both parties, make me sick. Would you really say what you have written to a person's face? Do you really think everyone who has voted for Romney doesn't understand women's rights? Do you really think that everyone who does vote for Romney is racist?
I understand that I live in a state where my view is a minority. I can understand that I am going to see support for candidates that I may not agree with. I do not understand how any individual can think it is okay to verbally attack another individual for different thoughts. How is it okay that one individual expressing so many of their constitutional rights is attacked for voting for what they believe in? Isn't that exactly what you are doing? Why bash on others for doing exactly what you are doing?
Is it Christlike to call a child of God awful things merely because of the way they voted? How is it appropriate to belittle, demean, berate, and attack an individual because they voted for Mitt Romney or Barack Obama? How can you accuse another individual of being uneducated on their vote when you have no idea how much research they have put into their votes?
I believe in respect. I believe that no individual is better than the next. Circumstances may vary, but Christ sees us all as equal human beings. We all come from the same place. We each face different trials that others don't even see or cannot understand. I believe that we need to be informed on every issue on the ballot. I believe that difference of opinion is what makes democracy function. I believe that a one party system (regardless of which party) is a failure to each American. The point of democracy is to hear both sides of the issue and to make compromises.
I will never disrespect another individual because they have voted differently than I. I may express my difference of opinion, but I will never accuse another individual of being uneducated, foolish, or flat out stupid. Our views may vary, but I trust that you, like me, have studied out candidates and issues and that you feel comfortable with the choices that you have made. I will never attack you or bully you for being different. I will never feel a need to 'educate' you on the truth.
I am more than happy to share my views with others. I am more than happy to hear the views of others. But I refuse to stand here quietly while being attacked because of the conclusions I have made and the vote I have cast. The things I have seen on Facebook in the past few weeks, from both parties, make me sick. Would you really say what you have written to a person's face? Do you really think everyone who has voted for Romney doesn't understand women's rights? Do you really think that everyone who does vote for Romney is racist?
I understand that I live in a state where my view is a minority. I can understand that I am going to see support for candidates that I may not agree with. I do not understand how any individual can think it is okay to verbally attack another individual for different thoughts. How is it okay that one individual expressing so many of their constitutional rights is attacked for voting for what they believe in? Isn't that exactly what you are doing? Why bash on others for doing exactly what you are doing?
Monday, November 5, 2012
Political Rant: An Explanation of my Views
I made it to the day before election day to spout off! That is a huge deal! Be proud of me world! Today, I reached boiling point and would just like to make a few points. First and foremost, both my husband and I are registered democrats. I believe that it is not the role of the government to determine what is and is not legal for people to do in their own lives. It is not the business of the government to tell a woman that she cannot have an abortion, that gay marriage is illegal, or that the death sentence should be imposed. I even support many aspects of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare)
I believe that every individual should be allowed to use their right to choose, rather than the government choosing for us. While I may not personally feel that certain social policies are right, it is not my place to make my beliefs law. For instance, I do not think I would ever choose to have an abortion, because it is taking the life of an unborn child. However, I have no right to tell another woman that she cannot have an abortion because I believe it is wrong. It is the choice of the woman, not mine, and she will live with whatever consequences it might bring.
I hate when people say things like "Take away congressional pay and see if things change." If you really understand where our representatives make their money, you would understand that the money that they make from the government is very minimal compared to the money they make from outside sources, or the money that they had before they were representatives. And this salary is certainly minimal when compared to the perks that many politicians receive from lobbyists.
I hate when people vote straight ballot, whether it is republican or democrat. I hate that straight ballot voting is even an option. I wish people would take voting more seriously than that. In this election, I have found that there are several shady democrats, and just as many republicans. If more people took the time to study out the candidates, I think they would be surprised to find that they people they are voting for are not always they people they think they are voting for because of the R or the D next to their name. It is important to study out the issues and to gain an individual opinion. It is important to read up on the issues, from both points of view. Educated voting is the best kind of voting.
I hate living in a state that is so red. I can understand that conservative economics are important in the middle of a recession. But I cannot understand how Utah can continuously vote for people like Gary Herbert or how they are about to vote John Swallow in to office. Governor Herbert has done some seriously shady things while in office. Look at the 1-15 core project, or what is going on in the West Desert. These scandals have not been publicized nearly as much it should be because we live in such a conservative state.
I am tired of people questioning my religious beliefs, my integrity, and my intelligence because I can fathom the idea of voting for a democrat. I am tired of being equated as a clueless entitled citizen who doesn't understand the way government should work. I am annoyed that I get classified as a citizen who just takes advantage of entitlement programs and is probably on food stamps and welfare. To clarify, no I am not on food stamps nor welfare. I did make it through college with the help of Federal and State Aid and I even had a job too. My minor in college was Family and Consumer Science. As part of this, a major focus was socioeconomic status (SES) and that one of the defining factors of political beliefs is education. The more education a person has, (i.e. the more college education) the more likely they are to vote democratic. Many would argue that this is because the education people are receiving in colleges and universities is liberal. I would argue that higher learning tends to teach that we can think outside of the box. Based on the education I received (which was from a public institution in a very conservative state) it is safe to say that I can only recall one professor who let his politics into the classroom (he was from Chicago of course he loves Obama).
The fact that I am a democrat has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs or my integrity. My personal religious beliefs are very conservative, and relate very little if at all to the way I vote. Yes I believe in God. Yes I believe that there is an afterlife. No, I do not believe that God will punish me for being pro-choice. Nowhere in my religious doctrines does it say "VOTE REPUBLICAN OR BE SENT TO HELL YE FOLLOWER OF SATAN." Rather, my religion encourages individuals to vote as they find appropriate. My church chooses not to affiliate itself with a party. They do ask that our political views fall in line with church doctrine. Last time I checked, allowing free agency and the right to choose as you believe is not a violation of any doctrine.
In general, I tend to avoid political conversations with close friends and family,because my views are different. People tend to think less of me if my views differ from theirs. I think it is sad how the way I vote can upset people so much. I think that different views are important in any democracy. They are what makes our government work. By all means, vote the way that you feel is best! Voting is an important right, and a way to express ourselves.
I find it important to vote for so many reasons. Not only do I want my voice to be heard, but I want other voices to be heard as well. We have the capacity to decide the future of our communities based on one ballot!As a woman, I find it my duty to pay homage to those women who fought so hard for decades for Women's Suffrage! How can anyone say that voting is not important? It is our chance to make a difference!!
I know that this whole post seems to be about why democrats are better. That is not really the point I am trying to make. First and foremost, I wanted to explain my point of view and my personal beliefs. Second, I want people to understand that being a democrat does not make you and idiot, it does not mean that you have no religious beliefs, that you lack a moral compass, or that you have no integrity. I certainly do not think republicans are uneducated bigots . It is important for us to respect different views. No one party has all of the right answers. No one party can solve all of America's problems. No one president can fix the economy. To put America on track, it takes respect for others, reaching across party lines, and people working together.
I believe that every individual should be allowed to use their right to choose, rather than the government choosing for us. While I may not personally feel that certain social policies are right, it is not my place to make my beliefs law. For instance, I do not think I would ever choose to have an abortion, because it is taking the life of an unborn child. However, I have no right to tell another woman that she cannot have an abortion because I believe it is wrong. It is the choice of the woman, not mine, and she will live with whatever consequences it might bring.
I hate when people say things like "Take away congressional pay and see if things change." If you really understand where our representatives make their money, you would understand that the money that they make from the government is very minimal compared to the money they make from outside sources, or the money that they had before they were representatives. And this salary is certainly minimal when compared to the perks that many politicians receive from lobbyists.
I hate when people vote straight ballot, whether it is republican or democrat. I hate that straight ballot voting is even an option. I wish people would take voting more seriously than that. In this election, I have found that there are several shady democrats, and just as many republicans. If more people took the time to study out the candidates, I think they would be surprised to find that they people they are voting for are not always they people they think they are voting for because of the R or the D next to their name. It is important to study out the issues and to gain an individual opinion. It is important to read up on the issues, from both points of view. Educated voting is the best kind of voting.
I hate living in a state that is so red. I can understand that conservative economics are important in the middle of a recession. But I cannot understand how Utah can continuously vote for people like Gary Herbert or how they are about to vote John Swallow in to office. Governor Herbert has done some seriously shady things while in office. Look at the 1-15 core project, or what is going on in the West Desert. These scandals have not been publicized nearly as much it should be because we live in such a conservative state.
I am tired of people questioning my religious beliefs, my integrity, and my intelligence because I can fathom the idea of voting for a democrat. I am tired of being equated as a clueless entitled citizen who doesn't understand the way government should work. I am annoyed that I get classified as a citizen who just takes advantage of entitlement programs and is probably on food stamps and welfare. To clarify, no I am not on food stamps nor welfare. I did make it through college with the help of Federal and State Aid and I even had a job too. My minor in college was Family and Consumer Science. As part of this, a major focus was socioeconomic status (SES) and that one of the defining factors of political beliefs is education. The more education a person has, (i.e. the more college education) the more likely they are to vote democratic. Many would argue that this is because the education people are receiving in colleges and universities is liberal. I would argue that higher learning tends to teach that we can think outside of the box. Based on the education I received (which was from a public institution in a very conservative state) it is safe to say that I can only recall one professor who let his politics into the classroom (he was from Chicago of course he loves Obama).
The fact that I am a democrat has absolutely nothing to do with my religious beliefs or my integrity. My personal religious beliefs are very conservative, and relate very little if at all to the way I vote. Yes I believe in God. Yes I believe that there is an afterlife. No, I do not believe that God will punish me for being pro-choice. Nowhere in my religious doctrines does it say "VOTE REPUBLICAN OR BE SENT TO HELL YE FOLLOWER OF SATAN." Rather, my religion encourages individuals to vote as they find appropriate. My church chooses not to affiliate itself with a party. They do ask that our political views fall in line with church doctrine. Last time I checked, allowing free agency and the right to choose as you believe is not a violation of any doctrine.
In general, I tend to avoid political conversations with close friends and family,because my views are different. People tend to think less of me if my views differ from theirs. I think it is sad how the way I vote can upset people so much. I think that different views are important in any democracy. They are what makes our government work. By all means, vote the way that you feel is best! Voting is an important right, and a way to express ourselves.
I find it important to vote for so many reasons. Not only do I want my voice to be heard, but I want other voices to be heard as well. We have the capacity to decide the future of our communities based on one ballot!As a woman, I find it my duty to pay homage to those women who fought so hard for decades for Women's Suffrage! How can anyone say that voting is not important? It is our chance to make a difference!!
I know that this whole post seems to be about why democrats are better. That is not really the point I am trying to make. First and foremost, I wanted to explain my point of view and my personal beliefs. Second, I want people to understand that being a democrat does not make you and idiot, it does not mean that you have no religious beliefs, that you lack a moral compass, or that you have no integrity. I certainly do not think republicans are uneducated bigots . It is important for us to respect different views. No one party has all of the right answers. No one party can solve all of America's problems. No one president can fix the economy. To put America on track, it takes respect for others, reaching across party lines, and people working together.
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